“When a deep injury is done us, we never recover until we forgive.”
— Alan Paton
We know that it takes a lot of energy to carry hatred and resentment.  They weigh us down and take up so much of our space and time that we may have trouble seeing beyond them to all the good things that are part of our lives.  Why, then, is it so difficult to forgive?  When we suffer intentional wounding at the hands of another person, our first response usually is anger.  The anger may pass; but when it does, it is replaced by something far more crippling, and that is fear.
It is only natural to protect ourselves from more injury when we have been deeply hurt.  It would make no sense to trust someone who has shown that he does not have our best interests at heart; and so we defend ourselves by staying hurt, angry and afraid.  We fear that if we let our guard down we will be welcoming another round of pain.  So how do we begin to lay down the burden of hurt and resentment and move on toward a life unencumbered by their weight?
First, we must step out of our anger.  We must find the strength to walk in love and trust implicitly that there is nothing to be gained by retaliation.  When a great injustice is done, another injustice will only add to the anger, fear, and pain.  Only when love is brought to the world can the balance be restored.  Next, we must release our fear.  We must find the strong place in our own center that allows us either to face the one who has wounded us or to walk away and let them go.  In order to do this, we must forgive — not because they deserve it, but because we need to be true to ourselves.  Gandhi tells us that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, and it is true.  When we are blinded by anger and hurt and fear, we can bring nothing else to the world.
When a deep injury is done to us, we cannot erase the scars.  We carry them with us; and even though they might be invisible to others, we see them each time we look in the mirror.  Until we forgive, those scars only remind us to stay angry, be afraid, and get even.  If we are able to step out of our anger and fear and into forgiveness, we can transform our scars into badges of courage and power and light.  Even when the person who has hurt us is someone who will continue to hurt us unless we leave, forgiveness gives us the power to leave a spot of light behind us when we turn and walk away.