“It is not beauty that endears, it’s love that makes us see beauty.”

– Leo Tolstoy

Why do we love?  What is it that calls our hearts to respond in love to another being?  How is it that we define what is beautiful?  Is it another case of carts and horses, of chickens and eggs, that leaves us scratching our heads as we wonder which came first?

I have given birth to five children, and I would guess that any other mothers will relate to my experience upon seeing my newborns for the first time.  I remember thinking that I knew how funny-looking newborn babies were.  I even remember reminding myself that the squishy look of a brand new person only lasts for a short time, and that I shouldn’t be concerned about my first impressions.  When the time came to meet each of my children, I marveled at how fortunate I was to have given birth to the most beautiful baby ever born.  How amazed I was at the cuteness of my own offspring when compared to other newborns I had met.  How incredible it was that even though I was prepared for ordinary babies, I had been blessed with such beautiful children.

Which comes first?  As the years have passed and children have grown up and provided grandchildren, I continue to marvel at what a handsome bunch we are!  Has anyone else noticed this phenomenon in your own family?  As the love goes before us into meeting each new addition to our clan, the beauty of their existence radiates back and fills us with appreciation for their unique and lovable splendor.  What convinced me that the love comes first was the birth of my fourth grandchild.  She was a petite little package, less than five pounds when she made her debut.  Born with a rare syndrome, our little one had parts on the outside of her body that belonged inside.  She needed surgeries which corrected her health problems but which cannot make her body look like that of every other little girl.  Here and there, she is peppered with scars where tubes and feeding lines once helped sustain her existence.  When the scars show, I always marvel at their miraculous beauty; because without them my little one would not be here.

I am sure there are people who might see the reality of my little one for the first time and recoil.  They might even see her as less than beautiful, but that is only because they have not yet loved her.  It is love that allows us to really see the beauty that is inherent in every variety of living thing.  Only when we look with the eyes of our hearts can we begin to see that we are surrounded by beauty.  It is not the surface of a thing that defines its beauty — it is what lies beneath and sends love radiating back to those who are able to see.

In The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint Exupery reminds us that, “what makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.”  Let your love thirst for beauty.  Before you know it, that beauty will bubble to the surface all around you.  May it take your breath away.