“Friendship is the shadow of the evening, which increases with the setting sun of life.”

— Jean de La Fontaine

When I say, “friendship,” which faces pop into your mind?  As I watch my fifteen-year-old navigate through the perils and pitfalls of her teenage years, I am transported back to a time when friendships were shallow and the fickle drama of adolescence had the cast of characters changing by the day — even by the hour — as we struggled to fit into a larger circle that we called friends.  I remember the nights of crying tears of frustration, as I tried to understand why someone I wanted to befriend had no interest in knowing me better.  I remember the feeling that not having their acceptance might just herald the end of my world.  Again and again, as we jostled and jockeyed for position in the social circle, friends would come and go, delight and betray, and finally move on.

There is something basic to being human that desires the companionship of others.  There is something deep and meaningful that grows out of our early attempts to connect that does, along the way, allow us to find the soulmates who remain our lifelong friends.  During a recent round of teenage drama, I suggested to my girl that she talk to some older folks and find out how many of them still have meaningful friendships with the people who shared their high school years.  Even though I live in the same community where attended high school, I can count on the fingers of one hand the people from that time who still are a part of my daily life.

Fingers always seem to come up when I talk about friendship.  I am a pretty sociable person.  I enjoy the company of others and can find a good time in nearly any group where I might land; but I remember realizing, in my thirties, that I could count the true, deep friendships I enjoyed on the fingers of one hand.  At first I thought that maybe I should work harder at achieving a longer list; but then I realized that the sort of friendship that lasts — the sort that I desired — was more a matter of quality than quantity, and I began to realize how blessed I truly am to have found some folks who share the music of my soul.

As the sun of living shines on and I find myself in the afternoon of my life’s day, I find that the shadow cast by friendship does grow longer.  There is so much shared living that comprises a lasting friendship that the gentle shade that lies in front of it becomes broader as well as deeper.  Everyone knows that there is no greater comfort when the sun burns hot than a bit of shade on a blistering day.

With the sun at my back, I hold my hands out in front of me and make shadow puppets against the afternoon sky.  I see the faces of each shadow of each finger, and I wave my arms to make them dance.  Suddenly I stop.  I kick off my shoe and balance on one foot, toes wiggling in the sun and joining in the celebration.  I find a spot in the shade at my feet and counting each finger with the joy that grows out of shared living, know that I am truly blessed.