“One who is injured ought not to return the injury, for on no account can it be right to do and injustice; and it is not right to return an injury or to do evil to any man, however much we have suffered from him”

– Socrates

It is such a temptation when we are dealt injustice to return hatred for hatred and injury for injury.  I’ve heard it said that “an eye for an eye” ultimately leaves the whole world blind; and as large as my anger can sometimes feel, I would rather be able to see.  Long after the person with no conscience has done something to hurt us, we are in danger of continuing to harm ourselves by being consumed with our anger.  The one who has no conscience is free from this, because he is unable to understand the pain his actions have caused.  Only the person consumed with thoughts of revenge continues to hurt.  We must realize, when faced with the challenge of healing from hurt that it is our ability to love and feel empathy for others that has expectations of the same sort of connection from other people.  I cannot imagine the loneliness that must accompany a lack of conscience.  I cannot imagine feeling that disconnected from others.  I has to be its own special sort of pain.

Yesterday I saw a program on TV about a family camping trip that started out idyllic but ended tragically with the kidnapping and murder of their young daughter.  For more than a year after she disappeared, they had no idea what had happened to her.  What took this tragedy and made it something worth telling was the decision made by her mother to forgive the person who had taken her child.  She made this decision, based on her faith, when she realized after a couple of weeks that being consumed by her rage would not change anything.  On the other hand, forgiving could release her from the bondage of her own anger and help her to see the pain of the person who had kidnapped her daughter.

Throughout the telling of the story, the woman whose other children now are grown spoke in her own words about her loss and about her decision to show forgiveness.  ”Some people say forgiveness is for wimps,” she said, “but forgiveness is hard work.”  No sugar coating it — she made a conscious choice.  In the end, an arrest was made and her daughter’s remains were recovered.  The man responsible for the horror ended up hanging himself in jail.  His capture was due, in part, to the love and concern expressed to him by this incredible woman.  Has her pain healed?  Not completely.  Will she ever forget what happened to her family?  Never.  But, in the end, she continues to be a beautiful and loving person.  She made a conscious choice not to let the most hateful act cause her to succumb to hatred herself.  An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind — the forgiveness in the heart of this exemplary woman makes her eyes sparkle — even when they are filled with tears.