“He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today seems like a good time to talk about fear.  After a fitful night of trying to sleep, I find myself feeling foggy and suffering from a headache.  Last night a member of my family was assaulted and hurt by her spouse.  When his attempt to control and contain her only resulted in her calling police and leaving for a safe place, the threats began.  Our whole family is on his chopping block; and we know enough about this man to take his words seriously.

Most of the time, we live a pretty fearless life — in more ways than one.  For one, it is unusual for us to feel threatened.  We have chosen to surround ourselves with people who value us and invest in our safety.  It is totally foreign to feel threatened by someone who has pretended to be a part of who we are.  In another way, we have chosen to come from a place where we refuse to live in fear of the unknown.  We live a transparent life in a house with our doors open to the people who pass through.  We have nothing to hide and a great deal to share.  We trust that the Light we desire to bring to the world will dispel the darkness that challenges it.  We have little fear of the unknown, perhaps because it is just that — unknown.

Today I struggle with the awareness that my transparency may be vulnerability.  There is evil in the world that is so dark that maybe it takes a brighter light than mine to illuminate it and reveal its true nature.  In the end, I don’t fear evil — I don’t fear darkness — but for now I do feel less courageous than I would like to be.  I know that the  ultimate victory will go to the Light, but I am realistic about the wounds that often greet us when we are courageous.  Today I fear the known.  Today will be a great opportunity to grow in courage.  Today I will stand in the face of my fear and trust that the darkness will not prevail.  Today I will not carry the banner that announces the light.  Today I will put on my armor and go forward as a warrior.