“Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little thing in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort.”

– Humphrey Davy

The Christmas Countdown has begun.  One week from today, it will be Christmas Eve.  As I sit down to write, an old TV commercial runs through my mind — the one where the woman goes into the kitchen and whips up a batch of Rice Krispies Treats.  She effortlessly puts only three ingredients in a bowl, mixes them, presses them into a pan and cuts them.  Then, after loading them on a serving plate, she intentionally messes her hair and dusts her face with flour.  With a sigh that implies she has toiled for hours, she then carries the plate to her adoring family.  She wants them to understand the huge sacrifice of time and energy that has gone into the preparation of their favorite snack.  What is it about us that this ad hopes to access?  Why is it that we think others need to see us as making huge sacrifices so that we can earn their appreciation?

The holiday season provides the perfect setting for us to fall into this trap.  Everywhere we look or listen, there are people showing us the latest, newest, most-improved, most-impressive gift suggestions.  When we deliver these big-ticket items, we are sure to win the love and adoration of the people who are dear to us.  When we don’t deliver, they imply, our loved ones will know that we really do not care enough to give them the best.  This week has been a busy one; and as  I’ve prepared packages for mailing to my out-of-town family, it has been difficult not to throw money at the problem rather than finding creative ways to show each person that I know who they are and I remember the little things that make them feel special.  It is important that four-year-old Oskar receives the blue mini-flashlight, because blue is his favorite color.  It is important that little Gus’s finger puppet is a turtle, because he just loves turtles of all shapes and sizes.  It is important that instead of styrofoam peanuts, the edges of the package are padded with single-serving cereal boxes — a treat they boys associate with Grandma and Grandpa and the time they spend visiting us.  They will, no doubt, enjoy their gifts; but part of the enjoyment will be the wrapping.  They will be wrapped in loving memories that remind them of the hugs and kisses we share when we are together.

As we prepare for our celebrations, let’s remember to celebrate the people we love.  Let’s not be so caught up in delivering the goods that we forget to share the small things that show each of our loved ones that we not only remember them, but we truly see who they are.  I will make the shrimp balls that Emily loves.  I will be sure that Dan has his Mexican dip before dinner.  We will mix a batch of Great-Grandma’s party punch and celebrate the familiar taste of Christmases past when my own children were the little ones.  We will remember to call the older folks and include them in our celebration.

We will make traditions.  Each year I make melt and pour soap for the little ones — round white ponds with a rubber ducky swimming in the center.  The Dollar Tree provides “magic towel” washcloths that come as dehydrated discs and expand when they hit the water.  ”Grandma always gives us soap,” the kids say, and they enjoy the feeling that there is something they can rely on from me.  Even my sophisticated, almost-fifteen granddaughter has put in her special request for just the right rubber duck.

Let’s leave behind the need to make everything seem like a sacrifice this year.  If you want to make Krispie Treats, let the kids help.  Teach them that doing things for the people you love is easy — because of the love that motivates you.  Let’s focus on the things that matter — love, kindness, and traditions that say to each unique individual, “I see you, and you are important to me.”  Let’s preserve our hearts this Christmas.