“Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace.  The soul that knows it not, knows no release from little things; knows not the livid loneliness of fear.”

–Amelia Earhart

When I discovered that today was Amelia Earhart’s birthday, I just knew that she would have something to say that I would want to hear.  To say that she was a woman who lived ahead of her time would be an understatement.  At a time when most women wore cute little frocks and high heels as they cooked their way to recognition — pearls optional — Amelia Earhart chose trousers, a helmet, goggles, scarf, and a life of adventure.  Her name is a familiar one to me, because many of my ancestors also were fliers; and they traveled in the same circle with Ms. Earhart.  None of them gained the notoriety of Amelia Earhart.  Her courage and love of adventure separated her from the other intrepid aviators of her time.

I suppose that when Amelia spoke of courage, she was talking about her famous solo flights — feats considered remarkable, especially for a woman — that led to her reputation for courage and ultimately became the source of her end.  I would like to think that she met her end, staring Death straight in the eye and saying, “bring it on.”

Today is the first day of my own solo flight.  Mine takes place in the quiet of my own home.  No goggles or scarves will be harmed in the making of this flight, and my uniform of the day will be denim capris and a pink t-shirt.  Last night, just after a quick round of hot dogs and tater tots, my sweetie and our granddaughter climbed into a car with our son and his daughter and left on an adventure.  They should be waking up soon in a hotel at their halfway point of Richmond, Virginia and preparing for the second leg of their trip to the beach in South Carolina.  For eight days, I will be flying solo — for the first time in more than forty years — and my excitement at the adventure is mixed with moments of wondering whether I know how to be just me after all the time I’ve spent as part of the organism we call family.

I will call upon courage and enjoy the opportunity to fly solo to a spot of heightened self-awareness.  I will choose to be alone rather than place myself at the mercy of  ”the livid loneliness of fear.”  When I first read that word, “livid,” I thought of “angry.”  How could loneliness be furiously angry?  Then I remembered that the other definition of “livid” is “pale and ashen.”  I think this must be how Amelia Earhart saw fear — as pale and weak and vulnerable.  I would rather choose the path of courage and leave fear out of my adventure.  Without the backdrop of the people I love, without responsibility for the daily care and feeding of anyone but myself, I think I will learn some things about who I am.  This may be the only chance I have to fly solo for quite a long time; so I will pack my courage and seize the opportunity.  Destination:  Awareness.