“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”

– Plato

Today is a very special day in our family.  It is my husband’s birthday and also my daughter’s birthday.  Happy Birthday to Mark and Sally!

I was delighted to learn that today is also Plato’s birthday; and I spent some time this morning reading some of the wise things the great philosopher had to say.  I expected to find something profound about learning or about wisdom, and he certainly had many words to share on those subjects; but the one that stood out for me was about kindness.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”  If we could hold this attitude with everyone we meet, how would it change the way we treat other people?  So many very real people in my life right now come to mind.  There are the two women in treatment for cancer, another who has just received a devastating diagnosis of a painful condition that may not be treatable, there are people who struggle financially to make ends meet from one day to the next.  There are those who grieve and there are those who are wounded by the memories of unkind things they have done to others.

Some battles are easy to see.  If your hair falls out due to chemotherapy, everyone knows that you are fighting a battle.  If you need a cane to steady yourself when you walk, people can see that you are facing a disability and coping with it.  Other battles are not so obvious.  There is the man whose breathing problem limits the distance he is able to walk, and he suffers the glares of people who think he uses his handicap hang-tag simply to get the best parking space.  There are the people in chronic pain — physical, emotional, or mental — that does not show on the surface but affects everything they do.

Plato was very wise when he offered this advice.  If we begin from the position that our own struggles are not the most difficult ones in the world, we will have to open our hearts to every person we meet.  I had a note this morning from a friend who is in cancer treatment this week, and she remarked about how kind everyone is at the hospital where she goes for radiation therapy.  Kindness matters; it really does matter.  Whether or not we are fighting our own difficult battles, if we can begin with the belief that everyone we meet is fighting a harder battle, we can open our hearts and let kindness pour out on others.

We live in a world filled with the walking wounded, and judgment and harshness can only make things worse.  Can we find the courage to step outside of our own problems and admit that we are not the only ones who face trials in our lives?  I’m thinking now of a couple of people who were part of my life — people with ongoing pain and struggles that everyone could see — yet they never lost the ability to reach beyond themselves in compassion and offer a listening ear or a bit of encouragement to others.  I call this “grace under pressure,” and there is little that I have admired more as I look for my own path through life.  When I grow up, I want to have grace under pressure.

Since today is Plato’s birthday, but also Mark’s, I will leave you with my sweetheart’s version of the same advice.  He would tell you to always assume that everyone you meet is doing the best they can.  Their best might not be very good and it might not be what you want or need, but if you assume that it is their best then you have no reason to make matters worse by becoming angry.  When he first proposed this idea to me, I thought he was crazy.  There certainly are people I meet every day who don’t seem to care about doing their best.  As I thought about it, I realized that the not caring was a battle in itself, and that under those circumstances maybe the best they had to offer was a tiny bit.  Give it a try.  See what happens when you assume that everyone you meet is doing their best.  I have a hunch that you will find yourself becoming more and more kind.