“My biggest fear in life is to be forgotten.”

– Evita Perón

My former mother-in-law always used to tell me that the most important thing to her was knowing that she would be remembered.  She, herself, had suffered some losses, chief of which was the early death of her husband.  She spent the rest of her life, until she died at age 100, making sure that he would not be forgotten.  People are remembered for many reasons.  We remember the famous for their accomplishments that cause them to stand out in a crowd.  We remember the notorious for their despicable acts.  We remember the people who touch our hearts in ways that don’t afford them fame or acclaim, but that assure they will always be with us and remembered.

Today is a good day to think about these things.  It’s been a year since Ben, a sweet young man from our small town, died of a seizure at age 24.  There are those who would say that Ben led a limited life.  He attended the life skills program in high school, receiving his diploma at age 21.  He was not able to live independently.  He had a few jobs, under the supervision of a job coach; but he was not able to work full-time or support himself.  I suppose we might remember Ben for all these reasons, but the reason I remember Ben is his wide-open, heart one step ahead of him, love for people.  If Ben walked by another person, there was no doubt that he would approach to introduce himself.  ”Do I know you?”  If the answer was no, he would extend his hand and say, “I’m Ben.”  After that, you were a friend for life, and each time you would meet Ben, he would say with excitement, “Hey!  I know you!”

When it was time to say goodbye to Ben, his parents decided to use the bandshell in our park for his memorial service.  Ben loved the park and the people it attracted.  He had worked there, too; and Ben loved to work.  Nobody could have imagined that more than 1,000 people would show up to say goodbye to Ben.  There were family and close friends, classmates and their parents, old folks and children, and people like me who were captivated by the unbridled joy that Ben found in life.  It just spilled over.  That’s the only way to describe it.  People came to remember Ben, because he always remembered his friends.

Maybe that’s what being remembered is all about.  There is a saying that “what goes around comes around.”  Maybe it is the people who remember others while they are alive who are most remembered after their life is done.  Ben is remembered today.  He is in my mind and in my heart, because he lived his life loving people — any people — just like me.  There will never be a May 7th when I don’t think of his booming greeting, his amazing smile, and his boundless energy.

A tree planted in Ben's memory burst into beauty this spring with vibrant red leaves that match his passion for life.

While I am remembering Ben today, many others come to mind who are now gone but who touched my life.  I could name them here, but what is more important is that I carry them in my heart.  Who are the people you will never forget?  Why do you hold them in your heart?  Take a little time today to think of the joy you shared and be thankful.  Being remembered is a wonderful gift.

Although Ben is no longer with us, he still is remembering his friends in a special way.

The Ben Yorgey Foundation